Start your day with a Speaking Tip!
Sunrise over Arugam Bay, East Coast of Sri Lanka
Speak for Success Tip #4
What is a Lesson to a Learner?
May I ask you that? What is a "Lesson" to you?
Do you know what you should be receiving as a learner? If you are a trainer/teacher/educator, do you know what your lesson should be giving to your students?
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"As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, We too can share and love and have and receive."
- Rev. Joseph Tribiani
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Sorry! I just had to sneak that in! For those of you that know, ya know!
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Back to the topic. This tip is more about what a Lesson should be for the learner. These are my "3Rs", and I wish to share them with you.
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Refreshing:
There is an abundance of knowledge out there and there is very little that has not been said about public speaking and communication skills before. If so, what do we expect to learn?
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You may be hearing a concept for the first time. Or it may be something that you are familiar with. The challenge is to present a concept with a fresh new look. Taking existing knowledge and delivering it in a new way. Sometimes, a fresh perspective is all we need to understand a concept better. This will enhance the learning process.
Realization:
This brings me back to Simon Sinek and his "Golden Circle". Many times we complain and blame our education system - for it does not afford the child a chance to understand why they need to learn this or why they need to memorize that. What purpose does it bring to just memorize pages and pages of material, that may not be of use during their lives? Give them the "why".
When you communicate with clarity and your message is received as it should be, it leads to a realization within the listener. Let it be an awakening, a realization, understanding "why" this particular lesson is important. In doing so, we bring about true learning.
Rewarding:
The purpose of a lesson is to give the learner new knowledge that will help them improve themselves, by degrees. It is not an immediate drastic change but one that happens over time.
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A single lesson can bring about improvement. The simple realization why you are doing something in itself is its own reward. In delivering your content, remember that there should always be an opportunity to learn.
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A lesson should be a refreshing look, generate realization on why, and be rewarding by bringing improvements in increments.
I strive to deliver the 3 R's in every learning engagement I take on. I hope this will help you too! Go out there and #saysomething
Speak for Success
Tip #3.1
Idea Generation for your Speech: Part II
Start with Why
I'm sure you're familiar with Simon Sinek and his bestselling book "Start with Why". He introduces the concept of the "Golden Circle" - a simple but powerful way to look at your purpose for doing anything. His TED Talk, "How great leaders inspire action" has more than 13 million views on You Tube and 52 million views on TED!
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I was first introduced to Simon Sinek and his concept of the "Golden Circle" by Distinguished Toastmaster Mahesh Jayasinghe in 2011/12, and it struck me that this simple but powerful theory can be applied to many things - including speech writing. I give below the Golden Circle diagram introduced by Simon Sinek.
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In public speaking, most people know "what" they have to do - A speech, some know "how" to do it, but few people understand "why" they are doing it.
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What is your "why"? why are you doing a speech? why this particular speech?
Your "Why" is to
Inspire, Educate or Entertain.
Your "How" are your Strategies
"What" are you doing? A speech!
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The "Why" is your purpose - it is why this speech exists. Identifying your why makes achieving the overall goal of the speech easier to visualize. When you think of that first thought and associate it with a word or phrase, see what the word is trying to tell you - is this a phrase I can use to inspire/educate or to entertain my audience?
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Now, what are the strategies that make up your "how"? The topic you choose, should be based on answering the following:
Choose topics that evoke a Think, Feel or Act response
These are the topics that you bring from your personal experience, or things you read about or were taught, things that you feel will add value to the audience.
Your audience will always want to know "what's in it for me?" If you can inspire new thinking, or a new feeling or action, then, you have made your audience believe in what you believe. Let's explore this topic further. For now, try using the above Venn and put in your stories to see where they fit in to your strategies. But always, "Start with Why"!
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Until next time, #saysomething
Speak for Success
Tip #3
Idea Generation for your Speech: Part I
You want to write a speech, but you are stuck for ideas? Many of us sit in front of the laptop or open a notebook and wait, and wait, and wait some more - for inspiration to hit us. Idea Generation needs some practice, it helps to do exercises that will stimulate our creative thinking process.
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Today's tip will focus on a simple method that I was taught from back in the day when I was part of the Young Writers' Association. Think of it like a brain game for creative writing. Here it is!
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1. Take a random phrase; a metaphor, quote or idiom:
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E.g.: "Spreading like anthills", "All's well that ends well" or "Speak of the devil!"
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Now try to write down the first thoughts that come to your head around that phrase. It may not be easy. It took me awhile to write down anything on the first one - "spreading like anthills". Check out my blog "An Anthill, that became a Poem, that became a Drawing", and you'll see where it ended up finally!
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Keep trying until you have a thought down that you can work with.
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2. Now, Take that thought and expand on it by writing out a few more lines or words around that first thought. Try to find similarities or even opposites to contrast your thoughts:
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What else spreads like anthills? Cities? Or instead of "all's well that ends well" - why not "all's well that begins well!" "Speak of the Devil - he looks like an angel". The more thoughts you generate - even if they sound silly - help your thinking process.
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3. Pause. Let your mind wander. Suddenly your brain will start generating thoughts around what you just wrote down.
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Don't worry if it doesn't generate anymore content for you. It is an exercise that will help you generate ideas. Remember, all ideas don't end up in print or on the screen - some just end up in the wastepaper basket or on the cutting room floor.
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but the more ideas you do generate, the more likely you are to latch on to a good one and expand your story! Try it and tell me if it works for you.
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Drop in later for Part II, when we focus on the "Why". Until then, Say Something!
#saysomething
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Speak for Success
Tip #2
The Roots of Empathy
What is Empathy?
Is it sympathy? No.
Empathy is understanding the feelings, giving consideration and respect.
Not sharing the feelings!
Why is empathy important in communication? Empathy helps ground us and allows for us to listen to another person. It gives us a different perspective on the presenting issue/topic/discussion.
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Here are 3 Tips to help you practice empathy:
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1. Perspective taking - Have you heard the saying,
"Walk a mile in my shoes, before you judge me?"
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Remember, "You need to remove your shoes first before you can put on the shoes of another"!
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Perspective taking allows us to look at the situation from the other person's point of view. It is like looking through a "reverse lens". Deeper understanding leads to stronger communication between two people.
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2. Stay out of judgement! - This means to not make comments that infer the other speaker's emotions or responses are invalid or wrong.
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Some examples for judgement words are: "No!", "Can't be", "Are you sure?", "Let me explain",
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Recognize emotions - Look within yourself and identify that feeling the other person could be feeling. Use framing questions such as "who, what, when, where, why & how" to get to the point. These questions will extract better responses.
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A beautiful quote from Mr John C Maxwell comes to mind:
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"People don't care how much you know, unless they know how much you care".
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Strong roots in empathy will lead to strong connections when you speak and when you speak, remember - Speak for Success!
Speak for Success
Tip #1
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Engage in Attentive Listening
Most times we lose sight of the importance of listening - attentive listening, in communication. Is listening easy?
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It is not! Science proves it. Do you know that your Optic nerve that transmits visual images to your brain is 25 times larger than your Auditory nerve that transmits hearing to your brain? Although sound travels faster to our brain, we are bombarded by sight stimuli at a greater rate!
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We need to focus 25 times more to listen!
Here are 3 tips to avoid barriers to attentive listening:
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1. Focus - Focus your attention on what is being said. Your visual attention will help you process the auditory stimuli better.
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2. Avoid Distractions - Distractions come from the environment as well as from within (heard that voice in your head recently?) Distractions prevent concentration and divides attention.
Put aside your phone or any other distracting device to ensure you are giving your full attention to the speaker. Try not to multi-task when you are in a conversation. (responding to an email or texting on the phone while speaking with someone is both rude and distracting!)
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3. Be patient! - One of the greatest problems we have is that we want to speak - before our turn! Be patient enough to control that urge to respond in between when someone is speaking.
It's like lining up for a race - listen for the starter's gun, that is your cue to run - don't jump the gun! likewise, don't be hasty to respond. Let the person speaking, finish what they have to say. ​
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The Late Dr Stephen R. Covey said it so well in his book on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
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"Seek first to understand, and then to be understood"
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That's my tip to Speak for Success! Hope you practice attentive listening!